Tattered Thoughts
by DeanWsChick17
Summary: Sam starts having nightmares and visions about their mother's death all of a sudden and thinks about how him and Dean used to be when they were kids.


**Tattered Thoughts  
A "Supernatural" Song Fic**

**_Summary:_ Sam starts having visions and nightmares about their mother's death all of a sudden and starts thinking about how him and Dean used to be when they were kids.**

**_Disclaimer:_ "Supernatural", Sam, and Dean, and the song useddo not belong to me (However, IDO wish Dean belonged to me. Hehe!). The waitress, though, belongs to me (even though she has no name in the story).**

**_A/N:_ The nightmare Sam is having comes straight from the first episode "Pilot", just has him in it as a stand-by. I know it might be strange for a story to end with lyrics, but I couldn't figure out any other way to end it. The song used is "Wasteland" by 10 Years. And now to the story! Please R&R! I will love you forever!**

* * *

Change my attempt, good intentions  
_Crouched over  
You were not there  
Living in fear  
But signs were not  
Really that scarce  
Obvious tears  
But, I, will not  
Hide you through this  
I want you to help_

* * *

Sam Winchester was asleep in the 1967 Chevy Impala, his head leaned against the window, his face forming a strange look. Dean glanced over at his baby brother as a disgruntled moan escaped from Sam's mouth. 'Must be having another nightmare about Jessica.' he thought. But the word that came from Sam made Dean want to slam on the brakes. He looked at Sam in utter shock this time.

"Sam!" Dean hollered over the loud blaring of Back In Black by AC/DC. Sam didn't respond as he let out another moan and repeated the same word again. Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. He shook his head and kept on driving.

* * *

_Sam stood there, in his room, as he watched his infant self laying in his crib. Why would this cause him to let out those moans? Because he had a bad feeling that something was gonna happen soon. He then saw his mom walk in with a 5-year-old Dean._

_"Come on, let's say goodnight to your brother." Sam couldn't help but smile as he watched his brother lean down, giving him a kiss and saying goodnight to him. He could then hear footsteps coming down the hall. His dad then entered the room, Dean running up to him saying "Daddy"  
_

_"Hey buddy." he said, picking him up. "You think Sammy's ready to throw around a football now?"  
_

_Sam cringed at his household pet name. It was enough to hear Dean call him that. But to hear his dad call him that? It crept him out to the max.  
_

_"No." chimed Dean.  
_

_"No? Well, someday he will. C'mon, let's go to bed"  
_

_They both walked out, leaving the infant Sam to go to sleep. It wasn't long before the weeping sounds of the baby could be heard. The present Sam, however, heard footsteps again, coming down to the room. It was his mom again. _

_What he witnessed next was something he would never forget. He then saw a mysterious figure appear before his crib. It didn't walk in or anything. Just appeared. _

_Before he knew it, his dad was rushing up, calling out her name. She was nowhere to be seen. Sam also wondered where she went. _

_He started walking to the crib where the infant version of him laid, standing beside his father. He watched him as he reached down to touch the red liquid that fell near Sammy's head. _

_He then watched more as the older man looked up towards the ceiling. Sam also looked up at the horrifying sight of their mom. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. _

_"Mom! No!" he screamed out, along with his dad's yelling and screaming. A cloud of flames then surrounded her as Sam looked up in despair, a tear rolling down his cheek. He continued to scream out until there was nothing else to say._

* * *

_And please, see  
The bleeding heart  
Perched on my shirt  
Die, withdraw  
Hide in cold sweat  
Quivering lips Ignore, remorse  
Naming a kid, living wasteland  
This time, you've tried  
All that you can  
Turning you red_

* * *

Dean looked over and saw Sam, what you might say, "tossing and turning" in his seat.

"No! No, no, no." he mumbled. Dean then hit him on the arm to get him back to his senses, or better yet, awake.

"**NO**!" yelled Sam as he jumped up at the contact of Dean's fist.

"Whoa. Sam. Chill dude. You were freaking me out there for a second"  
Sam looked over at him with a confused look. "What was I doing"

"Well, for one thing, you were screaming in your sleep. Giving me the heebie-jeebies. And, two, you were having a nightmare about something, which was also giving me the heebie-jeebies"

"Sorry"  
"It's ok. Um, can I ask you a question?  
"Sure"  
"Were you… um," He paused for just a second, looking out the window and laughing a little before continuing.

"What?"

He then focused back on the road again. "Were you having a nightmare about… Mom?"  
There was a little bit of silence. Then, "Yeah. Why?"  
"Oh I was just wondering"

Sam then stared out the window the whole rest of the way to wherever they were going. He pulled into the nearest restaurant. All this talk about their Mom was making him hungry, and a little upset. But he didn't wanna show it.

"Hey y'all." greeted the waitress. "How many?"

"Two." said Dean as the woman lead them to their table. Once they were seated and ordered their drinks, he leaned over to Sam so nobody could hear him.

"Now tell me. Why were you having a nightmare about Mom?"  
"I don't know, Dean. I just… it just popped into my head. I have no control over what enters my head when I sleep"

He then saw the waitress coming back with their drinks.  
"There ya go, boys." she said, setting down their drinks. "So, what will it be?" "Um, can you give us a few minutes?" asked Dean with his trademark smile. "Sure. I'll be back in a few." she replied, smiling back at him.

Dean made the gesture to Sam that the girl who just waited on them was hot. Sam just looked at him, then grabbed a menu and started looking over it just so he wouldn't have to stare at Dean gawking at the girl.

"Well, tell me this," he said, turning back around to look at a menu as Sam's face. He reached up and grabbed it, pulling it down flat onto the table so that he could make eye contact. "Was the nightmare worse than the ones about Jess?"  
"Yeah. It happened right when I was in my room"  
"So?"  
"I saw her on the ceiling above my crib. I saw the flames erupt from her. I saw the _terror_ on Dad's face. I watched Mom die, Dean! Do you know how that made me feel?"  
"Probably like shit"  
"Damn right it did! I was petrified. I even cried. And you know it takes a lot for me to cry"

Dean just sat there. He couldn't believe that his baby brother just had a nightmare about him watching his own mother die. He felt helpless for poor Sam. And he knew that Sam felt much resentment for their Dad leaving them. How couldn't he? After all, they were stuck with _his_ job, the job being his obsession ever since their Mom died. But, what could they do? Nothing. Except follow his leads to wherever he sends them coordinates to.

* * *

_Change my attempt  
Good intentions Should I,  
Could I  
Here we are with your obsession  
Should I, Could I_

_Crowned hopeless  
The article read, living wasteland  
This time, you've tried  
All that you can, turning you red  
But I, will not  
Hide you through this  
I want you to help_

* * *

Sam could remember all the good times that him and Dean had when they were younger. Always playing games with each other, hanging out with Dad together. Just having fun.

But when they got done with high school, and he announced that he was going to college, Dean couldn't help the sadness that he felt and dreaded the day when his only brother, and best friend, left him.

And what about all those times when he thought that their Dad didn't have a care in the world for him? And all those times when they got into fights? No, he never thought about them. They were all shoved to the back of his brain.

Back in the car, heading to their next destination, Sam couldn't help but look over at Dean and admire his older brother. Dean could feel eyes staring at him so he looked over.

"What?"  
"Nothing." he said, shaking his head and looking back at the road ahead. "No, c'mon. What is it?"  
"It's nothing. I was just… do you ever think about the good times we used to have as kids?"  
"Of course I do. What makes you think I don't?"  
"Well, I wasn't thinking that you didn't but, I'm just wanting to know if you did or not"  
"Oh yeah. I think about them all the time"  
"Do you think about the bad times we had together? Like fights, and stuff like that"  
"Hmm.. Sometimes. Why? You think about them?"

"No. Never. Even if they were bad, I don't ever want to think hateful things about my only brother, my best friend, the one who keeps my ass alive even when I can't"

Dean couldn't help but chuckle at this.

"You even think about the times we had with Dad and Mom?"  
"Oh yeah. I think about them more than the other things"  
"Same here. You think we'll find Dad soon?"  
"He's gotta be around here somewhere. We just gotta keep looking"  
"You know, I'm starting to like this job more and more each day"

Dean looked over at him, his eyes furrowed in confusion.  
"How so?"  
"Because, we get to kill every single son of a bitch we come in contact with"  
"I like the sound of that little bro"

Dean smiled as they drove on with Hot Blooded by Foreigner played loudly on the stereo.

* * *

_Heave the silver  
Hollow silver  
Piercing through another victim  
Turn and tremble, be judgmental  
Ignorant to all the symbols  
Blind the face with beauty paste  
Eventually you'll one day know_

_Change my attempt, good intentions  
Limbs tight, skin tight  
Self-inflicted his perdition  
Should I, Could I  
Change my attempt, good intentions  
Should I, Could I_


End file.
